In the interest of keeping this simple, the Dominant in this essay is a male Dom and the submissive a female. However the essay also applies to a female Dominant and male submissive.

If you want a slave, If you want to keep a slave You must show her your strength as well as your compassion If you would be beloved by her, You must show her your love. If you would be adored by her, You must cherish her. If you would have her devoted to you, You must inspire her gratitude. A slave gives you her heart as well as her body; She gives you her trust as well as her submission. Never forget that what you want from her must be earned.... must be mented.... Are you worthy of such a slave as you desire? Do you treat her with the degree of respect you expect of her? There is such a fine line! Love and devotion can turn to anger and resentment If trust is betrayed, If power is abused, If your freedom becomes careless. Discipline is not for submissives alone! Control of a slave depends on control of yourself. Never lose sight of your grave responsibility to one who gives herself over to you! Never lapse into callousness or carelessness to one who has dropped her last barriers for your pleasure. To go beyond the limits --even one step!-- of what she can handle Turns bliss into pain and joy to grudge. To go beyond the limits of consent is not the way of the true Master. Petty tyrants can impose their will; The spineless can be intimidated; The defenseless can be brutalized; But only a true Dominant, worthy of the name, Can push on her limits freely and enjoy her pleasures, And have a lady return, again and again, In deep gratitude for enslaving her, carefully treated, she becomes truly yours and will give you everything.