Physical Dangers and Safety in BDSM

There is some element of danger in practically everything people do, from driving an automobile to hiking in the desert. So, while nothing is completely danger free, most experienced BDSM'ers will take every precaution for safety's sake. In the S/M lifestyle, dangers lurk in almost every kind of play activity, from spanking to flogging and from piercing to branding. In the context of S/M play, "safe" means "reasonably free from danger" to all involved in a scene.

The most obvious physical danger would be during S/M sex, although there are others. But, bottom line is this, when you are putting someone in bondage, or applying pain to their body, or both, it is dangerous. It is extremely important that the person in control, whether you call that person the Dominant, Master, Mistress, Top or something else, be in control of themselves and be very very aware of what is happening to their partner.

Important safety considerations and things to check:

  1. Your partner's ability to breath

2. Is your partner in, or going into, shock? Indicators are clammy skin, rapid breathing, pinpoint pupils, lack of responsiveness to the spoken word

  3. Have you cut off circulation? At the extremities, if you have restrained the wrists and ankles, you check several things. Check the tightness of the bonds, you need to be able to push at least one finger between the bond and the skin. Then check capillary refill. Do this by pushing down on a fingernail or toenail. The nail should go, once released, from white back to normal pink in two seconds or less. If it takes longer than two seconds, circulation is being restricted.

  4.Overall condition of your partner. Your partner often will not tell you they want something stopped, or need something stopped. First, he or she is a sub, and wants to please you. Second, because of physical shock, they may not be able to tell you. When we say shock, we mean a medical condition called shock, not "being shocked", emotionally.

  5.If you are going to bring in extreme elements of D/s play, like electrotorture, or mummification, please, please research it thoroughly first, and set up elaborate safeguards before hand. Remember with sensory depriviation play you will be unable to see the eyes and skin, and therefore be unable to judge the slaves physical condition, therefore safeword and safe gesture are doubly important and so is caution and vigilance on the part of the Dominant.

  6.Safewords: A safeword is a word the submissive, or bottom, can use to stop the scene if they feel it is out of control, unsafe, or they are uncomfortable with it. Sometimes in long established rel;ationships no safewrod is used anymore, however those relationships usually are grounded in a deep knowing and trusting of E/each O/other and the slave can be assured she will always be listened to and her or his Dominant will listen and determine objectively the situation. If this is a brand new relationship, or a part time relationship, USE SAFEWORDS. Submissives, before you committ to a relationship without safewords, make sure that your Dom knows what they are doing, and you have talked about S/M and D/s sex ahead of time and know that your Dom is aware of your limits and safety.

Some more safety tips in case of:

  Anaphylactic shock: Can come from latex allergies or bee stings or any of a number of severe allergic reactions. People with extreme allergic reactions often carry "epinephrine pens" and/or antihistamine tablets. Symptoms include severe swelling, which can close off airways and cause major breathing problems. In extreme cases it can literally asphyxiate the victim. Often accompanied by itching, burning skin, watery eyes, increases in body temperature, blood pressure and pulse rate. Call 911 and treat for shock.

  Asthma: Symptoms of an asthma attack include difficulty in breathing, rapid pulse, congestion, and "blocked breathing." Typically, players with asthma will have an inhaler. The wise play partner will know where the inhaler is, so it can be available quickly. Respiratory problems can also occur as a result of allergy; e.g., foods, pollen, or chemicals. Asthma can be severe.Stop scene immediately and make the sufferer of the asthma attack as comfortable as you can, if life threatening, call 911.

  Bleeding: Unless the scene is intentionally blood sport, stop the scene and get wounds covered with antiseptic and bandages immediately. ALWAYS dress wounds incurred diuring blood sport immediately after a scene. Use Betadine and sterile wound dressing and check the dressing often.

  Low blood sugar/dehydration: The wise Dominant will have lots of water or juice available to maintain hydration for both self and submissive, especially during a heavy scene.

  Unconsciousness/fainting: Can be result of fear or shock or injury.

See bottom of page for ABC first aid

 

Standard types of D/s and S/M sex and "toys" involved:

  1. Bondage - restraint of your partner, with ropes, leather cuffs, scarves, whatever else you may imagine

  2. Spanking - use a belt, crop, cat o' nine, hand, etc to spank your partner

  3. S/M - Sado-Masochism, the application of pain by a sadist (one who enjoys causing another pain) to a masochist (one who derives sexual pleasure from pain). This can be foreplay, during play or afterplay, or can stand alone and not require intercourse at all. You can use many different things to cause the pain, the list below is definitely not all the toys possible.

  4. Crops, Cat o' nine, Floggers Belts, Bullwhips, Slappers, Paddles

  5. Clamps for nipples, vagina lips, clitoris, etc.

  6. Chastity devices, both male and female.

  7. Blindfolds, leather wrist and ankle cuffs, ankle and wrist restraint bars.

  8. Dildos, vibrators, anal dildos.

Bondage Rules

Never tie anything around the neck. Collars with buckles are one thing as long as breathing and swallowing is not difficult.

  Watch the circulation. If someone's hand is becoming numb or blue it's too tight. Both partners need to be aware of this. Watch the skin and pinch if needed. The bottom should let the top know if there is danger to circulation.

  NEVER leave a bound person alone! Anything could happen.

  When using gags be certain the bottom can breathe from their nose clearly.

  When using locks and keys or handcuffs make sure you have used the key to unlock the device before you use it. Don't leave locks or handcuffs open. This way you can insure that you have the key to open it. It doesn't hurt to purchase locks that have the same key and then leave copies of the keys in different places in case you lose one. We sometimes wear our keys on a leather strand around my neck during play. This way if there needs to be a quick release We don't have to look for the keys.

  Inexperienced players should not be doing suspension.

  Do not cover the face and prohibit breathing.

Whips:

Whips can be sensual tools for creating erotic sensation. Every person has a different level of sensitivity. Some like more pressure while some need less. SM should be pleasurable experience. Whips are made many different ways with many different fabrics from soft deer skin floggers to rubber. Each carrying a different density and leaving behind a different sensation. Test your whip on your arm or leg. Know how it feels before whaling it onto your beloved.

To avoid injury and to create erotic sensation you should prepare the skin for sensation. This is not much different then fore play. You start off slowly, waiting for your partner to relax and become more receptive to your touch. You can begin by touching the body with your hands softly and then increasing the pressure, much like a massage. Press you finger tips into the flesh, warming and teasing the body. Start slowly by dancing the whip across the flesh and then slowly build up the pressure. Watch for "the killer wrap." This is the wrapping around the sides or places you don't want to hit. The end of the whip will have more of a sting. Be aware of this. Again, practice makes perfect!

Avoid hitting your lover in the lower back. There is danger to the lower back and kidneys. Although a very soft whip touching this area lightly will not cause injury it's best to avoid danger areas. Other danger areas are:

The face

  Inside of joints or bones.

  genitals (light whipping is OK)

  Stomach (light whipping is OK)

It's best to remain in the fatty areas. The upper back and buttocks can normally take the most amount of whipping and pressure and are the safest areas to flog. Practice with your whip. Learn to control the lashes and movement. Your whip is an extension of you, make it dance!

Wax play or Fire play

Burns occurring during play are usually the result of waxing or branding. On occasion, a Dominant will rapidly stroke the submissive's skin with the flame end of a lighted candle. This is safe when done properly; however, painful burns can occur. Burns from waxing are mostly first and second-degree burns, especially when colored waxes are used before white waxes, which melt at a lower temperature. Metallic candles should never be used, as they burn at a much higher temperature and can cause blistering. Similarly, candles made of bees wax should be avoided. Sealing wax, that red, very hot and scalding wax, should never be used in play.

First-degree burn symptoms include redness, mild swelling, and pain. Skin is unbroken.

Second-degree burn symptoms include redness or blotched appearance, blisters, swelling that can last for days, moist, oozy skin surface, and pain. Any one or all of these symptoms can appear.

Third degree burns will occur during branding. It will destroy all layers of the skin and leave the skin susceptible to infection. Symptoms include white or charred skin, destroyed skin. At the moment of branding, limited pain is actually present because nerve endings have been destroyed. Any or all of these symptoms can be present.

Again take a First Aid course and always have a well stocked medical First Aid Kit at the scene, be prepared for eventualities.

We hope you remember that these activities CAN BE physically dangerous, and can cause injury and death. Never experiment with any type of play unless you have thoroughly familiarized yourself with the technique and taken every safety precaution possible. It is highly recommended that every Dominant seek specialized training in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and first aid. Such training is available through the American Red Cross at a modest fee. For further information, see Standard First Aid & Personal Safety published by the American Red Cross. For present purposes, some basic concepts and measures are shared here as reminders:

  Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR)

When someone is not breathing, it is possible his or her heart has stopped beating. The technique involves opening and clearing the victim's airway by tilting the head backward, restoring breathing by mouth-to-mouth or mouth-to-nose resuscitation, and restoring blood circulation by external cardiac compression.

In any serious life and death emergency, the first priority is breathing. To determine if someone is breathing, place the side of your face and ear next to the person's nose and mouth to feel if any air is being exhaled. Also, see if the persons's chest is rising and falling. To determine if the persons's heart is beating, check for a pulse at the carotid artery in the neck.

Remember ABC: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.

Airway must be open. To do this:

1.Place victim on back on the floor.

  2.Check for and remove any foreign materials in mouth.

  3.If there is no neck injury, gently tilt victim's head backward by placing one hand under victim's neck and lifting upward. Place the heel of your other hand on victim's forehead and press downward as the chin is raised.

Breathing. To restore breathing:

  1.Keep victim's head tilted backward.

  2.Using the hand on victim's forehead, pinch nostrils together with thumb and index finger.

  3.Open your mouth widely and take a deep breath.

  4.Place your open mouth tightly around victim's mouth and give four breaths in quick succession, taking a deep breath between each blow. Continue this process at the rate of approximately 12 breaths per minute&ldots;about one breath every five seconds&ldots;until you see the victim's chest rise. Quantity is important, so give plenty of air! Stop blowing when victim's chest is expanded. Remove your mouth from the victim's and turn your head towards the victim's chest so your ear is over her/his mouth. Listen for air leaving the lungs and for the chest to fall. Repeat procedure.

  5.If victim's mouth cannot be used due to an injury, hold onehand over the victim's mouth. Take a deep breath and placeyour mouth over the victim's nose and blow into it. After you blow into victim's nose, remove your hand from his/her mouth to allow air to escape.

  6.Some resistance will be felt when air is blown into victim's lungs. If the chest does not rise, then there is still a blockage. Open victim's mouth and check again.

Circulation. To restore circulation:

  1.Check neck artery for pulse.

  2.If no pulse, begin cardiac compression. For one rescuer, give 15 compressions (80 per minute); then two quick breaths. For two rescuers, give 5 compressions (60 per minute) forevery one breath. Repeat until medical assistance arrives.

NEVER HESITATE TO CALL 911 WHEN A SERIOUS INJURY WAS SUSTAINED THAT REQUIRES IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ASSISTANCE OR WHENEVER YOU HAVE TO APPLY CPR