D/s Relationship

First, a Dom/mes-slave relationship can only work when the NEEDS of both Master and slave are being met. Dom/mes are not mind readers, and they should expect their slaves to tell them about any REAL needs which she has. In doing so, she knows that He/She will take what she says very seriously and attempt to meet her needs. Her Dom/me is in charge, but can succeed only if she fully cooperates with Him/Her. Second, although relating as Dom/mes and slave, both partners recognize that they are REAL people,and therefore the relationship is based upon recognizing this reality. To recognize this in a real fashion the relationship should operate with the following hierarchy: A. the slave's REAL NEEDS must always come first B. the Dom/me's needs and desires come next C. the slave's desires come last Thus, in order for this scheme to work properly, a slave must clearly distinguish between her NEEDS and DESIRES and communicate that difference to her Dom/me. Third, her happiness is ultimately as important as her Dom/me's in the success of the Dom/me-slave lifestyle. One of a slave's NEEDS is to have SOME of her desires met. She knows that it is gratifying to her Dom/me to grant some of her desires. It is, of course, entirely His/Her choice as to which of these desires will be gratified, however, how well she begs her Dom/mes will certainly affect His/Her choice of what He/She grants her. Thus, attaining her happiness depends as much upon her Dom/mes as upon the intensity of her desires. Fourth, forgiveness is essential. No Dom/me is a perfect Dom/me, and neither is any slave a perfect slave. Slaves will have a number of difficulties which cause them stress and which interfere with attaining the level of performance her Dom/me desires. However, a Dom's goal is to strengthen her and train her so that she will be able to attain the level of performance He/She wants. Even if both make mistakes, yet both are committed to the same goal, and thus can forgive each other their imperfections. Based on the above, it is OK to become a "real human being" with a Dom/me. Posturing Gorean-style Dom/mes who allow no room for expressing a slave's real needs inhibit real development. On the contrary, it is essential for a Dom/me to fully understand his slave in order to be able to truly Master her, and that it is only by assuring her of her welfare that she can focus on being attentive and submissive to Him/Her. This lesson takes time to learn. Some might think that this scheme takes too much away from the Dom/me. However, i believe that with great power comes great responsibility. The more responsibility the Dom/me can assume for His/Her slave -- assuring her of His/Her commitment to her happiness and welfare as much as to a "safe and sane" preservation and enhancement of His/Her power over her -- the more REAL power He/She will be able to exercise over her.   "Yang" and "Yin" describes it all: Master -- slave masculine -- feminine husband -- wife leader -- supporter dynamic -- stable forceful -- receptive aggressive -- submissive commanding -- obedient conscious thought -- subconscious desire visible strength -- hidden resilience electric -- earthy shocking -- clinging creative -- nurturing projecting onto others -- taking into oneself the courage to control -- the confidence to submit He/She is your Dom/me -- you are His/Her slave Yang and Yin together are One.